A side of cynicism?

So I wrote this as FB note and it was directed at someone who pissed me off. Someone who wants for nothing and never has wanted for anything ever. Mostly because she doesn't seem to possess a sense of humor, and then too, because she does not know me at all. But after I wrote it, I thought, yea, this is where I'm at right now, and I'm annoyed with frivolous, ridiculous people who have no concept of life outside their own perfect bubble. And so I copied it and pasted it here. Whatevs. I hadn't bogged in a while, so BOOM instant blog.

I feel like there is a major chasm of general point of views between the haves and the have nots, and never have I ever been a 'have'. From my youth until now and probably for the rest of my life I will be part of the have-nots. Sure, I have a house, a car, healthy-ish family, etc. We get by. We make due. We don't vacation- Ever. And we haven't had new cars in oh... ever. We can't afford those things. I buy generic. I shop sales. But, the kids are never lacking the things they truly need. They do share rooms though, and I imagine that may never change. I wore hand-me-downs, got made fun of because I didn't have the cool whatever thing was cool, I've juggled bills and received my share of utility cut off notices and foreclosure notices. I did not finish college. It was expensive, and being the pragmatist I am, I thought my rent was more important than my higher education and I never ever wanted my parents to my foot my bills. I have a mediocre job (that I actually like) and a mediocre life, and that's ok. I'll never go skydiving or base jumping or look into a volcano and I'm thinking that's ok too. I'm used to it. I wouldn't say I'm content, persay- but I'm stable. That to me is paramount. Stability. The kids know what to expect, and the kids are number one in my life. (1, 2, 3, and 4 really)

I generally keep my opinions to myself. Opinions are really like assholes..... eveyone has them, and mostly no one wants to be privy to someone elses (opinion that is). No one is really listening to anyone else's opinion anyway. No one is really listening at all. And the chasm grows. The rich are getting richer. The poor are getting poorer, and the middle class is screwed. Now there are folks that make poor choices in life, and I admit I've made my share. I've been too cautious, too careful, too protective, and then too reckless all at the same time. Life is all about choices. Successful folks- the haves- apparently made better life choices, or perhaps things were handed to them. Fantastic. Good for them. All I'm saying is- life is seen through a different camera lense to folks who wake up to Bob Ross' happy little trees every day. They see the positive in everything. Me- I'm waiting for the next mishap. The next disaster. The next bill to the auto repair shop, the next burst water pipe in the basement, the next broken appliance, the next repair bill our tenants send us, the next thing that is going to break us- and this last 4 years have given us A LOT. There's been suicide, separation, war, and PTSD, subsequent alcholism, and then throw in a family member being arrested and charged with unspeakable horror, and I slowly watch the threads of my life slowly unravel while I try to remain stable for my kids. My camera lense is scratched and foggy and maybe even cracked. I don't have time for drama, for frivolity, for excess. I have 4 kids. I work 40+ hours a week. I don't have time to analyse and read every detail. If the cynic in me thinks something smells like bullshit, then I deem it bullshit and I move on.  Most of the bullshit I see is on the news, so mostly I avoid that. I don't have time for it. I don't have time to ponder and read and look at every point of view and make educated decisions. I have to make snap judgments. Do I want to do that? No. But I don't want to waste my free time analyzing the political viewpoints of the mayor of some podunk town in Missouri. I don't want to analyze the ridiculous notion of racism in this decade, I don't want to read statistics and percentages and scorecards (unless it's the Steelers). I do have time to analyze federal legislation regarding FTA grant funding for rural transportation which by the way is hanging in the balance. Apparently old folks in the sticks will soon have to drive their tractors to town to get dialysis treatments and get to to doctor's appointments. I get paid to analyse this though, and I have serious angry opinions about it. Contact your congressman! Buy a bus, idk. I digress...

Mostly, I want to hear my kids laugh because they will never laugh the way they do right now. I want laugh to at things that make me laugh. Mostly I want to sleep because this damn house apparently won't clean itself and I can't afford to have someone do it for me, so I will be up bright and early cleaning sticky gunk off the kitchen floor. I made poor choices in life, and this is where I am and that's ok. Could be worse, right? And that's the point. I know it could be worse, and I know that it also could be better, but my life and my choices, and my struggles are mine just like my opinions are mine. They're not right and they're not wrong, but they are mine. Copyright and Notarized- btw I can do that now- but I can't notarize myself, that's illegal.

And let me leave with this one last thought. You are only as offended as you choose to be. It's a choice. 

In closing I want to make this other thing clear (and remember what I just said, you are only as offended as you choose to be and this is my opinion). The ice bucket challenge is stupid. Why would you dump ice over your head instead of just donating to charity. You either donate or you don't. Stop making mini-martyrs of yourselves, stop telling me it brings awareness. If you weren't aware that the specific illness existed- then your bubble must truly be perfect. There are a million other causes equally deserving of someones donation. I find the whole thing ridiculous, but then I also thought Harry Potter stunk, and had no interest in ever seeing Titanic, and why don't I like these things? I don't believe the hype folks. Don't believe the hype.