You want some of this?

You wanna hear some random shit, do you? Do you? Huh? Do you? Because that's what I'm sellin' here and don't let anyone tell you anything different. There are turkeys running around in the woods across the road. I can hear those little buggers and I'm thinkin they would be awfully tasty after a trip to my oven covered in herbs and butter and then slathered in tasty gravy. Not the dry stuff I ate yesterday... that I didn't make. I wanted ham.. I didn't get it. I'm being a whiney biatch. Whatevs. Mostly I'm pissed that Sgt. Dad ate the last of my homemade salsa and I got none. But mostly I'm pissed because of this whole... he doesn't have a job thing and might just go back to the contracting bit. It's definitely got my shorts in a knot and it's definitely making me pissed off at the world, which should be fun when I go to work tomorrow. Fake smiles and fake pleasant tones of voice can only last so long before I start to get snippy. The fact that I'm almost totally weaned off my antidepressants... gee... hadn't really thought about that, but I'm sure it's like an undercover spy in this whole pissed off at the world game. Andd I just spent 3 minutes looking up the difference between wean and ween because I can't spell. Also, Ween was a band from the 80s.  Thank you Wikipedia for that startling bit of useless information that I will forget in the 3 minutes it took me to find the word I was looking for.

Are you keeping up? I suppose manic would be the best way to describe where I am today. I imagine taking myself off the crazy train that has been cymbalta is most definitely the issue here. I glazed over it in an attempt to make light of it. The truth of the matter is, my crutch is gone, reality is more real and my head is going in 10 different directions at once. During the week I feel like I can't breath. There is no time. I get up at the butt crack of dawn, work a ridiculous job where the pay doesn't even scratch the ratio to responsibility, come home to whining children, a trashed house, and a pissed off husband. Who by my estimate is about to lose his mind in 3... 2..  You get the point. This is not fun. It could be worse, I am certain. Like, at least there is a home to come home to. But right now I feel like I'm drowning, and it totally pisses me off that I can't find a way to appreciate what I do have. And damn it. I want freaking salsa. It's not like I can just hop in the car and drive to the corner store to get some. Nope. The only thing safe to buy from the corner store is smokes and the newspaper and maybe bottled soda. Although that's pushing it. Besides I like to make my own and whelp, I'm feeling way to damn lazy for that.

I'm leaning heavily today on the positivity that often flows from my fellow bloggers. I'm trying anyway. Clicking links and reading and thinking... gee those are all great ideas to help battle the beast I battle, but in the end, today anyway, I'm feeling defeated. Defeated in the sense that... I'm too lazy to motivate myself to do anything about the way I feel, so I instead I'm just gonna lay here and fester. People do that. It's ok. We can't all be happy everyday. That would be freakin creepy. Like Walking Dead creepy but with happy people. Btw- Walking Dead? Yea. Don't care. I watched 5 minutes of it. A little zombie kid came stumbling out of a barn and they killed it. No thanks. I don't need nightmares about my kids turning all children of the corn. And I would. Get nightmare that is. I do. I have them all the time. It's just so conducive to a good night's sleep.... pfffftttt....

I should prolly stop here, because as you can see... I have no point... and since I have no point this could ramble on forever and at some point I could understand you sneaking out the back door when you've had enough. It's ok. We all do it. I did it to my son's teacher the other day. That man... he does not shut up. It's a wonder those kids learn anything that class. I digress. Mini-man is now parked next to me with his Leap-pad and he requires assistance with his pirate game. This is obviously more important than blogging ya'll. Sorry. I do have priorities.

I still love you all. Thanks for being here and sticking around and not sneaking out!