A window into my lost eloquence....

I used to be eloquent. My use of expensive words was well known, even lauded by my close friends. Then the twins became toddlers.... and now I use words like... poopy, handy, papey-towel, tubby-bath, boo-boo-owie, sissy, and bubby. 
I used to be witty, funny even, producing my own brand of gut-busting humor. I am serious when I tell you I could make you pee yourself with laughter. Then the twins became toddlers, the days are full of poopy diapers, temper tantrums, timeouts, sibling rivalries, and the like. I have found that these things seem to be sucking the wit and expensive words straight from my brain like some brain sucking aliens despite my intense intake of caffeine. 

These things have become blatantly obvious to me what with Sgt. Dad's absence from the house. If you've never experienced deployment, you can not possibly understand this. I don't mean that to sound nasty or rude, truly I don't. But it is true. And this isn't even a true deployment in the military sense. Sgt. Dad chose to go over there to keep food on our table. I won't lie- the money is good, excellent even. He can not find employment stateside that would ever pay this much. This is good. It pays stuff off, like car loans, and mortgages (of which there are many in our case), and it feeds and clothes the kidlets. I am thankful for this man, and his commitment to take care of our family. He amazes me everyday. 
That said- I shall be launching into a whining tantrum of my own of sorts. This totally sucks. Since this is my second go-round I speak from experience and current suckiness. I tried telling myself I was used to this. I have done this before, therefore this should be no big deal. FAIL. I was wrong. I don't think one can ever get used to this. There is a constant worry sort of niggling in the back of my mind. And then I sit and ponder all of the things he is missing with our kids. And then comes the anxiety... what if this happens, what if that happens, how do I do (insert whatever) by myself. And ultimately there is straight up missing him. Like gut-wrenching, painful, missing him. It's like that. It actually hurts.
Now that I have whined, I shall proceed to share what things I have learned through this experience, because I am certain you would want to know. First, and foremost- I am apparently stronger than I ever knew, both emotionally and physically. Second- and almost as important- I have learned that I MUST swallow my pride and ask for help when I need it. Help comes in many forms and comes from places and people I never expected. Those are the most important lessons I've learned. 
In addition, their are several smaller, perhaps not as important, lessons that I have learned. Let me share some of those with you to enlighten you:
~The old adage is true- if ain't broke, don't fix it. And by broke I mean completely useless. This lesson is especially important in regards to my car, which likes to do strange things at inopportune times- like stall out, or rev all by itself, or break window switches. But I still get where I need to go and that's what counts.
~If any child is ill, I will inevitably get ill and therefore should have a constant supply of vitamins and medicine on hand because no one can just run out to the store and get them for me.
~If the cat is not in the house, the basement door should be closed because even though the dog never goes down there when I'm watching- he will go down there in the middle of the night and eat her food thereby making me believe that the cat has a dang tapeworm. Dork.
~BJ's is an excellent place to shop for diapers and wipes and milk. However, it is not a good idea to purchase things like bulk fresh fruit and vegetables, because, let's face it, the kids are not big fans of said things, and I can only eat so much broccoli before it goes bad ya know. P.S. shredded cooked broccoli does not make a great quesidilla filling- the kids figure it out before eating it.
~The toilet only gets clogged when he isn't home. btw- you should invest in a good plunger and know how to use it. Also, you should know where it is at all times, and make certain all children know it is not a 'silly hat'
~Cheese, crackers, and carrot sticks are a perfectly acceptable meal option for toddlers. Of course, too much cheese and you will have to counteract it with some raisins, or in my youngest son's case, mandarin oranges. The less time you spend on dinner, the happier they are. Truth.

These are just a few valuable lessons. I have also learned that I seriously need a real hobby other than the internet, and that sometimes I need a break and a babysitter, and that it's okay to have a glass or 2 of wine at night after the kidlets go to bed. It is how I cope, how I survive and I am okay with that and don't care much what others think.
So despite my missing eloquence and usual snappy wit, the sarcasm still remains, and I am learning new things every day. For instance today I learned that if you spill the powdered cheese from the box of mac'n'cheese onto a hot stove burner it sorta smells like vomit, and that is not cool. I am though- cool that is- at least in my own mind.
Cheers folks!